Date:	2007-09-23 00:40
Subject:	something about desire which comes from being with another
Security:	Public
Mood:	drained
Music:	Juarez

 I'm wanting more than I have. 
more than i'm allowed to want. more than I can I have.

i'm wanting you to want me 
the way I want you 

and right now I know that you dont have
but I want it none-the-less

and I can palm this off as something else, which I will do if asked
each and every time

and I know I will, each and everytime
I see you,

but I want it nonetheless

Date:	2007-09-17 20:46
Subject:	sport before bed
Security:	Public
Mood:	mischievous
Music:	speak for me - cat power

Making a plan to take this play
I've signed you up in my head.
I scratch lines in the dirt and walk them 
open legge'd

I’m gonna call out your team 
And kiss them sweet
And bright and wet
And red.
Running Red
Red rover red.

I'll take to the field and stand you centre of it

Date:	2007-09-06 21:55
Subject:	a lover that sighs
Security:	Public
Mood:	uncomfortable

No wonder i feel like i do - look at the words i keep listening to.
Not the healthiest when there are impending marriages in the air

Part of me Has Died And won't return And part of me Wants to hide The part that's burned Once, once Knew how to talk to you Once, once But not anymore Hear the sirens call me home Hear the sirens call me home Hear the sirens call me home Hear the sirens call me home Part of me Has vied To watch it burn And the heart of me Has tried But look what it's become Once, once I knew how to look for you Once, once But that was before Once, once I would have laid down to died for you Once, once But not anymore.

Glen Hansard - Lies Lyrics I think it's time, we give it up And figure out what's stopping us From breathing easy, and talking straight The way is clear if you're ready now The volunteer is slowing down And taking time to save himself The little cracks they escalated And before you know it is too late For making circles and telling lies You're moving too fast for me And I can't keep up with you Maybe if you slowed down for me I could see you're only telling Lies, lies, lies Breaking us down with your Lies, lies, lies When will you learn The little cracks they escalated And before you know it is too late For making circles and telling lies You're moving too fast for me And I can't keep up with you Maybe if you'd slowed down for me I could see you're only telling Lies, lies, lies Breaking us down with your Lies, lies, lies When will you learn So plant the thought and watch it grow Wind it up and let it go

So If you ever want something You call, you call And I'll come running to fight And I'll be at your door And there's nothing worth running for When your mind is made up When your mind is made up There's no point trying to change it When your mind is made up When your mind is made up There's no point trying to stop it You see you're just like everyone When you share your falls All you want to do is run away And hide all by yourself When there's fall, there's fall There's nothing else When your mind is made up When your mind is made up There's no point trying to change it When your mind is made up When your mind is made up There's no point even talkin' When your mind is made up When your mind is made up There's no point trying to fight it When your mind, your mind There's no point trying to change it When your So If you ever want something Then you call, call Then I'll come running

You must've fallen from the sky You must've shattered on the runway you've brought so many to the light And now you're by yourself There comes a point in every fight When giving up seems like the only way When everyone one has said goodbye And now you're on your own If you need somewhere to fall apart Somewhere to fall apart The rules of cain ,the rights you've made The owls that caw, for those to blame The broken glass, the fool that asked The moving arrow to stop You must've fallen from the sky You must've come here in the pourin' rain You took so many through the light And now you're on your own If you need somewhere to fall apart Somewhere to fall apart The ruins of man, the bloody black The fool that bull the prouder hag The night the makes the rattle ack The wolves that follow the outed man The falling star the way we are The vern The rules that never ever mulitply You must've fallen from the sky You must've come here on the wrong way You came among us every time But now you're on your own If you need somewhere to fall apart Somewhere to fall apart The call you seek, the basket case The rules of thumb you have to break The raging skull, The rag to the bull The nails that drag in either hand Well I will make my worker that I know this place I know this time You must've fallen from the sky

Date:	2007-09-04 21:14
Subject:	Dia-Tribe
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	Eylend Oye

Cest Sur' 

Our weather is revolting against 
the Man about Town.

The flying things are circling
our city
to-night long

and all I can think of is,
imagine how must fuel they're wasting.

I picture what it's like up there 
throning on that seat.
"Is it hard to stay up in such a sky tonight?"

What soundtrack strokes his cock-pit
and accompanies the time?

Are there receptions for his line that high? 
Is he drunk on messages from short skirts
adoring such Strident Masculinity

"Does it entertain You entitled to such a 
task
        of Protection."

"Do You feel part of the Chosen Few now and
Tell me really; 
How much does it cost to stay up that long?

And what happens when you come down? "

                                                             
                                                                           - When thinking of someone whose job it is right now in such a 

Task of Protection

Date:	2007-09-03 20:42
Subject:	the frames
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	once

 http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=58854586

my new obsession.

they remind me of all the things I try to forget.
they make me think of what it was to be in love, and lose my mind over the smallest details
and they teach me what i used to know of the wrappings around everything.

to surge and swarm

Date:	2007-08-16 18:19
Subject:	Just like Heaven
Security:	Public
Mood:	high
Music:	the Cure

Show me Show me Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
And threw her arms around my neck

Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I’ll run away with you
I’ll run away with you

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow

Why are you so far away? she said
Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you
That I’m in love with you

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You’re just like a dream
                       - You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes

And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

Date:	2007-08-15 22:20
Subject:	Lullaby
Security:	Public
Mood:	complacent
Music:	I must've been asleep for days

"I must've had this
obvious lust
written about me.
Little girl lust
written all about me".
                            
                                     - When thinking of my
                                        face everytime
                                       She walked in.

Date:	2007-08-14 19:31
Subject:	Show me how you do that trick
Security:	Public
Mood:	giddy
Music:	The Cure!

After Near Tears and a RREALLLY big situation, 

I finally managed to secure tickets to the Tegan and Sarah concert!!!!!
thankyou ticketek - but really you need to think about getting direct debit - what centrury is ticket buying living in?

www.ticketek.com.au

I have been musically blessed this week! 

What with seeing The Cure on Sunday night (I cant even begin to exclaim over the absolutely amazing concert that was) and the next day procurring T & S tickets, 
all in Melbourne (the slowly creeping up to be the BCE (best city Eva), 

I know there will be music in my heaven!

Melbourne was for me , this weekend, 

things like this,

code name 54 finding out she will have a foot in every type of blog world soon...! 
GFY (quite frankly yuk) - as a best ever accronym, and completely useable
Being rejected from 2! Ghey bars in Melbourne - whilst sober, and with other hot hot resbians and gay boys! Then spending the evening planning my professional revenge
Love advice from the stranger at the next table - we could've sampled that 

maryjanecassady

Date:	2007-08-07 21:01
Subject:	A marriage of words
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	I like the free days with no reservations, I like it my way with no limitations

All over me

Appendix:

To give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses and attitudes

Now the other girls are all about me,

Prancing on stage
Swarming with self ardent importance 
by your appointment they 
cause my mind to circle and

I broke the dish while washing up

Did you notice?

I slam the doors

And steal back any gift I can find

Which I once offered so freely

To you

I want to scream down her throat

Right into that stomach you lie against.

Plant seeds of the distrust

Which you have wreathed all about me.

 
She sits there

On my stage

In my play,

Looking at my script.

        Full of blanket compliments

send/t across this space,

Penetrating my ether with such 
Insidious by-lines which
you do not discern

From her eyelash tinted tone.
 

And I wrote her in

With such a part to play;

I lined her up

For this

Such irony

We act at

Progressions of a seaweed girl 
29/11/06

Lingering onwards (slow as seaweed)
distant like the smile of a
reflection
on my landscape of water
we begin

slipping downwards
she speaks with melodies
that slide the silk of a 
thigh

underwater sweets
sweets underwater

slowly sinking (she is the anchor
I could disarm upon)
when she chooses this swimming\

                                   a bliss -

into my space

this lingering lowly sea girl is
when sipping the sucking
with alternate motion

making music in a native tongue

Date:	2007-08-02 20:39
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake

Slipping

Tripping

Treading

Spreading

You said you found the way 
To traverse meaning, transcribe space 
And trespass time 
With a passion of permanency

So I track your palimpsest in this slow pace 
And the ships sail sideways on your world

And the islands offer their lakes as sacrifice to your worship
Their banks are silent statues with quicksand openings to places underneath

Off the quay to sink beneath

Map me the reeds, 
And I'll spend my life hollowing out 
To breathe my last four breaths getting back to you

I can dive that low

Happy Birthday to my sweet,

I hope you like the story I wrote for you, where we both sailed in another time and place, 
desperately rich, independent and aristocratic. (just how you like it)

where we travelled on many an oceanliner, continent exploring 
with many dashing handsome suitors by our side.

Devishly important and entirely beyond reproof.

Taking our pleasure to the fullest and in high light.

And the champagne we consumed at such birhtday parties being perfectly scandalous!
the fun the fun!

Well all that being said, about a time outside, I look forward to celebrating 2007 birthdays just the same in the uncertain place we look to be at present.

Until in person, I offer all my love and affection via the written language, pretty picture cards and shuffling sounds.

I so miss you and so look forward to seeing you next. 

Sometimes I wonder if we did not have it better back then? in those days of pure lady of leisure style. 
Though, until we find things again about lazing in some parlour, surrounded by dazzling dizzying beauties, 
I guess I am lucky enough that I have you at all.
cest sur

Bisous ma cherie/
je'taime

Best wishes for your birthday from the humble and devoted
xxx

alos

all loss

also 

alas

CHARACTER PROFILES

Date:	2007-01-23 08:57
Subject:	Expectations to meet and be met
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	the cure

I need clarification of LJ etiquette:

Are the details exposed in entries allowed to be discussed between people in the concrete of one's physical reality?

When one is Lj friends with someone, as well as actual in the flesh friends - are both/either parties allowed to refer to details (sometimes explicit) written up in LJ when meeting in the flesh?

Or is there a code of silence shrouding my journal so that when we meet - we may secret handshake, nod three times and wink the left eye - but then leave it at that?

And what happens when the friendship one shares on LJ varies in the level of intensity to that of the friendship in flesh friendship?

How many comments are to be made before a BFFE friendship is established and is this automatically transferred into flesh life?

Am I allowed to share interpretations of my LJ/flesh friends deepest tribulations diatribed online with those of the outer sanctum (those not linked to LJ)?

Conversely where do the obligations of my LJ and in the flesh friends and those that are both, lay?

Where is the code of conduct displayed?

I'm in a grey area right now................

Cited from email banter between myself and friend, whilst wasting time, as we do, on a regular work shift

: "So THAT’S why I am a hauxmo!!!!!!"

http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327

                   This article must be read before following LJ entry to appreciate full hilarity.

: "Is tht site for real or a joke????????????????????

 There are ‘conservative t-shirts’ MenAricans are so Bizzaro.

I am going to send that article to my friend Nat*sh^ at work  - the one who is pregga.

 Let her know what she may be in for if she ‘chooses’ soy.

 It sounds like hodwollop – but in response to that Jim dude – I say ‘thanks man’ now i know i really WILL be choosing Soy and supporting the gays"

: "I know right? It is totally for real I think, that dude is a minister for some church or something you know.
Damn churchy Americans are the worst.

 I LOVE how he just sprouts information and statistics etc like it is actually real and based in actual study and all (notice how there where no references?)ie:
The “steady rise” of hauxmosexuality and the increased number of gheys.
Dude, read any ACTUAL study into it, the only increase is due to an increase in POPULATION, the percentage of gheys has remained pretty much EXACTLY the same (it's something like 7.7% or something) since they first started studies in like the 60’s.

What a cok."

Explanation: the language is occassionally odd - We need to disguise our expletives and code our talk for work computer scanning by the IT people network thing.

you totally loose your job over some of our conversation topics.....

Date:	2007-01-10 08:51
Subject:	pots and kettles
Security:	Public
Mood:	impressed
Music:	dull thud of beer left in my head

Whilst briefly mentioning LJ yesterday in a group conversation

(I like to think of the mention more as an autumn leaf, gaily breezing by on a sunny breezy day, no more there than for the smallest of moments, gone like a dream before you even realise it..... Its not like I was praising Lj's worth from the rooftops with a mega phone or anything), 

So for a minute there LJ became a topic of conversation and I recieved a tirade of hilarious Anti LJ abuse!

Abuser had the amusing audacity to critise content/writing styles/ and topics AND imply LJ writers are just a bunch of self romantic self deluded self induging freaks (point being?).

I then got told/asked by abuser to not mention her in my LJ, 

since how she had been mentioned before by one of her 'friends' and then a random person had come up to her in the pub and said "hey I read about you on so and so's LJ" and "she just did not appreciate it". 

- pretention much. er self-romantic-self-deluded-self-indulging-freak anyone?

Well anti LJ abuser - consider your self 'not' mentioned.

how perfectly gossipy would she be as an LJ friend! - some people can just not see what is good for them you know......

Date:	2007-01-09 11:35
Subject:	fickle as a pickle
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy
Music:	Magnolia

So I kindof got over 'chef girl' already.... (I am that fickle)

It turns out she has broken up with her g/f more recently than I had first anticipated, 

Which whilst the rest of the Resbian world seem to read as code for "Awsome! single for a day and a half - dateable", 

I do NOT want to date re-bound girl no matter how much delusion she or me shroud the relationship/each other/ X g/f 's in.

and more to the actual reason of why I am over it is, attempting to introduce a new friend into ones's life, my life (let alone new g/f) is like a whole frig of work.

I'm just not up for it at the moment.

I'm willing to:
                        
                          shag a random stranger (if intoxicated enough), 

                         Get MySpace and totally induge in pretentious cyberworld crushing

Since I have it on good authority anon:  "you need to get one. It is the best interwebs-stalking progression since I don’t know when. For both out-going and incoming stalker activity.Its ace."  - this suits me since I (and anon are) major stalkers of the variety kind,

                       Or/and, have completely unobtainable crushes on completely unobtainable friends - so that I am safe in my 'situation' and never have to worry about 'taking it to the next level'

Everything else is - Too - Much - Work.

Date:	2007-01-05 08:57
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry

Yesterday shaunlamb questioned me and my stance in the 'Up & Go' 'ready made'  'breakfast in a tetra pak'  'liquid wheatbix'  meal debate.

This began a whole stream of failry random slightly-interconnected thoughts and ideas leading to a short story about my new crush!

So it began, Up & Go's:

Being from the generation we are,

life does not get any better than ready made; 
and since I'm guessing tetra was also invented in our life time..
for the astronauts or something, (?merh)

whats not to like?!

So said conversation/debate went back and forth,
(both of us being dubious at first about sugar/carb content and gross factor)  concluded with a what the hey,

And set minds on flavours next.

Breakfast these days comes in Strawberry, Choco Ice, Banana, and the one we decided for - Ice Coffee

(both agreeing when you can kill twenty two birds with one stone, being requisite morning coffee as well you have hit a gold mine!).

Now I'm not sure I'm (leaving the physical experimentation for lamb himself) converting in actuality to this Up & Go breakfast business anytime soon,
but I am happy to talk on it and whats more,

we have already invented the off shoot product which is equally
if not more so Gold! than liquid breakfast! (much excitement followed at this point, and now we get to the sexy bits) see below

My new crush/girlfriend/loverrrrrr/hot lady chef girl (this girl is really none of these extra sweety things barring the slight crush
- but she IS pretty and has a nice name, I got to kiss her and she is totally worthy of a major LJ exaggeration entry)

so story, pretty chef girl works at a restaurant where corkage if like fifteen Dollars!
- that is per bottle. Maaahr!

And lamb and I were like (with lots of likes and ah's and american teen exclamations, or maybe bogan Australian ones - we were oscillating), 

"is that an Up & Go bottle of wine - 'cause we is expecting a meal to come with that wine and $15."

And so the magic was made - our upselling sideline by product new invention liquid dinner was born! laugh hard,

Seriously though gross - weetbix in a wine, cripes no! this is hyperbole Maxxy, but restaurant chef girl is working at another world of expensive
and when you are on a roll with fitting breakfast  meal/ daily coffee / on the run / neapolitan flavours / and astronauts into a $2.50 tetra pak
things can get kinda out-of-hand. 

*********************************************************************

Sidebar: I thought I was classy b/c I had graduated from Birks to Campers - But, I dont even know what brand of shoes they wear at this kind of restaurant? 

So I guess the only time lamb and I are getting a meal up and go or otherwise at chef girls work is if she does become my physical actual reality lover!G/F
and invites us along for freebies, or we become the multi millionaire entrepreneur types that this entry so espouses to! 

*******************************************************************

Now that Up & Go has become our new verb of the moment, the further connotations of this product name are yet to be mapped for further exploration 
- because laugh and a half , Up & Go - 'you do the math'! (Larkin shout out)


If anyone wants to check out this restaurant and buy me a dinner (and lesson me in the finner ways of life) go to 

http://www.claudes.org/

(unfortunately there is no picture of chef girl at this website - but totally for more business - they ought to have her on there somewhere in a chef uniform
rrrroarrrpurr).